Week 25

The Descent of Inanna

This is the story of the Sumerian Goddess Inanna who was a Goddess of love, war, and fertility. Her story has been told in many ways over many years, and this is one more version that I wrote to accompany an Ostara ritual for a group of Pagan inmates serving time in a state prison.

 

 

The Goddess Inanna lived in a world of riches and wore only the most beautiful clothing of vibrant silks and sparkling gems. Her wealthy and powerful followers brought her gifts of beauty in exchange for her blessings, which she gave with little thought. Her life was easy and simple and she liked it that way. Her lover told her how beautiful she was and enjoyed being next to her side at the lavish parties that were thrown in Inanna’s honor. But all of this wasn’t enough.

One spring, a feeling of discontent began slowly to fill Inanna. She felt as if her life was not complete, and although she was still surrounded by praise and pretty things, she felt lonely and longed for something more in her life. Not knowing what to do with this new feeling Inanna decided to visit her sister, Ereshkigal, whom she had not seen since she had become queen of the underworld many years before. Excited to be on her way Inanna bid goodbye to her faithful friend and confidant Ninshabur and asked her to watch over her lands while she was away.

Down down she went, deep into the earth. Through the dark and muck, past shadows and walls of rock. Finally, after time lost all meaning, Inanna reached an archway where a person dressed in a dark robe stopped her. “You cannot pass without making an offering to the Queen of the Underworld,” the figure said motioning to her crown. Looking behind herself, Inanna realized that the path behind her had disappeared and only a wall of rock remained. Reluctantly she passed her golden crown, the symbol of her power as queen. Not knowing what else to do she continued to walk.

Down, down she went, deep into the earth. Through the dark and muck, past shadows and walls of rock. Finally, after beginning to lose hope, Inanna reached another archway where a person dressed in a dark robe stopped her. “You cannot pass without making an offering to the Queen of the Underworld,” the figure said motioning to the large jeweled ring on her hand. Reluctantly she passed her ring, a gift to symbolize the eternal devotion of her lover. Not knowing what else to do she continued to walk.

Down down she went, deep into the earth. Through the dark and muck, past shadows and walls of rock. Finally, after hunger twisted Inanna’s stomach, she reached a third archway where a person dressed in a dark robe stopped her. “You cannot pass without making an offering to the Queen of the Underworld,” the figure said motioning to her staff. Reluctantly she passed the staff she used to control the growth of the natural world. Not knowing what else to do she continued to walk.

Down down she went, deep into the earth. Through the dark and muck, past shadows and walls of rock. Finally, as tears streaked down Inanna’s dirty face, she reached a fourth archway where a person dressed in a dark robe stopped her. “You cannot pass without making an offering to the Queen of the Underworld,” the figure said motioning to her sturdy leather boots. Reluctantly she passed over the boots that had worn into many battles as a warrior queen. Not knowing what else to do she continued to walk.

Down down she went, deep into the earth. Through the dark and muck, past shadows and walls of rock. Finally, as Inanna’s mind became confused and clouded and she could badly remember where she was journeying to, she reached an archway where a person dressed in a dark robe stopped her. “You cannot pass without making an offering to the Queen of the Underworld,” the figure said motioning to her silken gown. Reluctantly she stripped off her dress, the symbol of her beauty and passed it to the figure. Not knowing what else to do she continued to walk.

Down down she went, deep into the earth. Through the dark and muck, past shadows and walls of rock. Finally, after the soles of Inanna’s feet bled from walking on the rocks, she reached an archway where a person dressed in a dark robe stopped her. “You cannot pass without making an offering to the Queen of the Underworld,” the figure said motioning to her cotton undergarments. Reluctantly she stripped off the last of her clothing, the symbol of her modesty and sexuality. Not knowing what else to do she continued to walk.

Down down she went, deep into the earth. Through the dark and muck, past shadows and walls of rock. Finally, after Inanna that that she could go no further, she reached archway where a person dressed in a dark robe stopped her. “You cannot pass without making an offering to the Queen of the Underworld the figure said motioning to her long golden brown hair with an outstretched hand holding a knife. Aghast at losing the symbol of her womanhood Inanna used the knife to cut off the hair that had once been so admired.

Now stripped of everything Inanna held dear she stumbled towards a river of dark murky water. A small boat waited on the shore. Inanna climbed into the boat and it moved silently down the river. When it stopped at she found herself in a cavern filled with more robed people and her sister at the center. Queen Ereshikgal, who had always been envious of her sister’s easy life in the upper world, began a trial. “Inanna we find you guilty of vanity, selfishness, laziness. You do not share your wealth and gifts with those who need it most. For this, we are sentencing you to eternity in the underworld.” Broken hearted that her sister would reject her this way, and ashamed that at least some of what she had said was correct, Inanna allowed herself to be drug away to a small chamber where she lay down in the dirt and slowly lost the will to live.

Above ground the world was in chaos. Without Inanna, the crops weren’t growing when they should, and wars were raging violently out of control. Love seemed to be forgotten and families turned against themselves. Her lover had already moved on to a new woman, but her friend Ninshabur was concerned. She waited several days and nights for Inanna to return and when she didn’t she decided to travel to the God Enki to beg for help. Looking out at the state of the world Enki agreed that Inanna must return, and gave Ninshabur the sacred food and water of life and sent her straight to Inanna, bypassing the tunnels and protectors of the underworld.

Ninshabur found Inanna unresponsive and gently feed her the water and food of life which brought Inanna back to life immediately. Together they climbed up through a small opening in the earth. As Inanna climbed mud covered her body forming a new earth brown dress of velvet and silk. Roots from the trees above wound themselves through her now short hair making her a solid crown. Bits of mica painted her body making her glow a warm shimmering bronze color. Water trickled past and cleansed the wounds on her feet, transforming them into the sturdy feet of a warrior that do not need protection from shoes. Gemstones clung to her hands and neck, as she felt the strength of the earth nourishing her muscles and making her strong again.

Inanna emerged into the light of the day as a new Goddess. One fierce and, but also attuned to the suffering of the world. Her lover came back and begged for forgiveness for being unfaithful, but when Inanna looked into her lovers heart she saw that her lover only wanted her power as a Goddess Queen and not as a soul mate, so she sends her now ex-lover to replace her in the underworld. Smiling at her friend Ninshabur, Inanna praised her for her steadfast friendship and loyalty by making her the highest advisor in the land.

From then on Inanna ruled over the world with both the heart of a great lover and a warrior's keen mind. She used her power to watch over the weak and reward the generous. She rejected the comforts of society and instead became a woman of the woods, a witch, a hag, a wizened crone. Those who wanted her blessing had to journey through the woods to find her. If they made the journey, and proved themselves to be brave and generous, she would grant them their hearts desire.

 

 

Week 24

It is officially spring!  While parts of the country have not yet accepted this fact, my area is full into lush springtime.  Daffodils are up, trees have new leaf buds, my camellia plant is overwhelming in bloom, and their is a warmth in the day.  Sunshine mixed with rain is bringing all sorts of life to my area.  I find that I am extra grateful for these small blessings now that I am working with people who will not be able to view most of this for themselves.  

The adjacent minimum prison has a vegetable garden that the inmates can work in, but medium security does not.  Some trees can be seen in the distance of most of the yards, and a few plants are scattered around areas the inmates walk through, but mostly its just grass and cement.  Not especially inspiring for the Pagan spirit.  

Part of my work with Pagan inmates is to help them find ways to connect with the four elements while living in a very limited setting.  Water is one of the easiest elements to connect with since it used so often in our daily life.  Washing our hands, having a drink, taking a shower, and other basic cleanliness tasks all involve some form of water.  I encourage inmates to make showering into a sacred act if possible, and to use this time for meditation and prayer.  Most have responded really well to this suggestion and have adapted it to suite their particular style and needs.  

Air is another element that inmates can easily access.  Now, the air in the prison I work with is not the best quality.  We don't have windows that open and the exterior doors only can open briefly.  The air is usually too warm or too cold for comfort and thick with the smell of whatever the kitchen is cooking. Still, our breath can connect us to the element of air anytime and anywhere.  It is constantly available to us.  Inmates also have told me that they use their time outside on the yard to practice deep breathing, watch the clouds drift through the sky, and sometimes to find a lost feather or two.  

Earth can be a trickier element to connect with.  Some of the yards have a patch of dirt or grass, but not all of them.  The inmates who do have this like to take off their shoes and put their feet into the dirt on sunny days.  Others will try energetically to connect with the earth that resides under the cement that they are surrounded by.  While the food that they are served is not the freshest, most of it came from the earth at some point so it can be a natural way to connect with the earth if you spend a moment in contemplation.  

Fire is the hardest element to connect with.  No candles, matches, smoking, or incense of any kind can be used by inmates in my state.  Some of the volunteers are allowed to use a candle or incense in the chapel and we have a sweat lodge and sage smudge that can be used outside.  On a daily basis I encourage inmates to connect with the energy of the sun, which is affecting them even if they can't stand outside in it.  Food also holds the energy of the sun.  Produce has been grown through photosynthesis and the heat of cooking has turned ingredients into a meal.  The stars at night are delightful fiery globes that, despite their distance, we can still connect with.  

Each week our Pagan group sings the same simple chant: Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath, and fire my spirit.  I have noticed that new group members are sometimes startled by the mention of "blood" in the chant, and when I see that look of alarm cross their faces I try to take a moment to educate the group that we sing this chant in order to remember that we always have the four elements within us at all times.  We don't need anything special to be with the Divine, we just need to take a moment to appreciate the gifts of nature that are around and within us.

Spring Blessings!

Holly

Week 23

Along with another fabulous volunteer I run a weekly Pagan circle at the prison.  This group is open to everyone who is interested in either learning about or practicing Paganism.  It can sometimes be a challenging group to lead because we can average between six to twenty people depending on the season, and have a huge range of experience levels and types of Paganism represented at any given meeting.  

This past week I didn't feel well prepared for the group.  I had a horrible headache all day long and was finding it difficult to keep my mind focused.  I was hoping we would have a small enough group that we could work with some tarot decks.  This prison allows inmates to purchase one of three decks for their personal use.  I have purchased a small collection of decks for us to use.  Unfortunately two of them have been stolen from the group as well as one of the little booklets that come with the decks. One was discovered and returned to me, but the other never was.  Now I have had to mark all of my decks so that to discourage them from wandering away from the group.

We had just the perfect number of people to be able to all have a deck to work with.  I have been using a wonderful book called Tarot Shadow Work by Christine Jette.  Christien Jette defines the shadow as "...unresolved inner conflicts and unexpressed emotions.  It refers to those archetypal images which are intuitively recognisable as a troubling part of us: saboteur, martyr, victim, addict, sadist, masochist, or tyrant.  The shadow is also present in those latent talents and positive impulses which we discouraged or even banished from our lives at some time on our life path: artistic, musical, athletic, creative talents which have never been realized."

The book is set up to have a different star shaped tarot spread for each chapter.  Each spread helps uncover a particular aspect of the shadow and how it is working in your life.  So far we have worked on the first two spreads, both of which were very easy for the inmates to understand and connect with.  The Star of Discovery focuses on uncovering what shadow types are working in your life.  As we worked through this spread I heard a lot of people sighing and exclaiming as their cards pointed them towards a deep truth.  It was very moving to witness.  

This week we worked through the second spread, the Star of Recovery.  This spread helps you learn more about why a particular shadow got a hold in your life and begins to look at what you need to move past it.  I heard several reaction as we used this spread.  Some people were frankly unhappy with what the cards had to say!  They knew that it was the right information, they just weren't sure if they were ready to deal with it.  Other people felt that their reading gave them the affirmation that they were on the right track.  

Tarot Shadow Work is a fantastic book, and I am finding it to be natural fit for prison populations.  It is wonderful for anyone working on addiction, dysfunctional relationships, and anxiety or depression. I highly recommend it!  Christine Jette has also written a booked called Tarot for the Healing Heart which looks quite promising as well.  I have just ordered two used copies of the book.  One for myself and one for the prison.  

Learn more about Christine Jette and her wonderful tarot spreads with the links below.  

An article by Christine Jette from Llewellyn

An interview with Christine Jette about grief and healing from atatarot.com

A tarot spread for spring 

Spring Blessings,

Holly

Week 21

My boobs are just too much for the inmates to take.  

Or so I was made to feel by the officer who screened me before I went into the prison last night.  I was wearing my standard black t-shirt with a scoop neck.  I wear shirts like this so often that it is practically my personal uniform.  I was also wearing one of the annoying sports bras that I have to wear or else I will set of the metal detector alarm system.  The clasp of a traditional bra is too much metal for it.  Even one of those shoulder adjuster straps sets it off.  I can't stand sports bras, and I think they actually accentuate my cleavage as they push my ample bosoms into one giant cleavage lump with a noticeable cleft.  

You might be thinking, OK Holly, you have a giant rack (42DD to be exact), but what does that have to do with Pagan prison chaplaincy?  Good question.  The experience of being asked to "cover up my cleavage" taught me a few things about prison life.

1.  Being told what to do can make you want to do the exact opposite.  I had to hold myself back from yanking my neckline lower.  If she had said "your shirt might be a little short tonight, keep an eye on the neckline" I don't think it would have annoyed me as much.

2.  Prison has no room for feminism and promotes rape culture.  That may be a bit of an overstatement, but consider this, my physical body is seen as a threat to the prison environment.  Female volunteers and employees are encouraged to wear no makeup or jewellery.  Form fitting clothing is forbidden.  The mere whiff of my femininity is enough to promote violence against myself.  While the dangers of working in a prison setting are very real, the blame of sexual violence needs to be put squarely on the person who is committing the crime.  

3.  Inmates are stripped of their sexuality.  I have heard this numerous times from the inmates I work with, but last night as we sat in a circle I took a hard look at their clothing.  Baggy jeans no matter what your body size.  Clunky shoes.  Oversized sweatshirts and t-shirts that are loose and come up to the neckline.  The only part of the body that can be shown is the lower arm, hands, neck, and head.  Shorts are allowed but only on the units and not in the chapel.  Playboy/girl and 50 Shades of Grey are allowed to be sent in, but consensual sex is not allowed.  Everyone is asked to live a celibate life.  

4.  I was struck by the power imbalance in the prison.  It was one of those moments that I really wanted to speak up for mysef and defend my right to show an inch of cleavage, but I knew that if I did I would not only not get into the prison tonight, but that I could be banned for future visits.  It reminded me that inmates live with this every day.  If an inmate has a personality clash with an officer they are unlikely to be able to speak up for themselves without receiving a punishment of some sort.  Sometimes this may actually be a positive thing for an inmate.  Some inmates have never learned to follow any of societies laws or moral codes.  They may need some harsh reality checks that they can't do or say anything they want.  For others,  it just reinforces learned helplessness and that the system doesn't care for them at all.  I feel depressed just thinking of living in this energetic place. 

I can't change any of these things, but I can help create a space where people can get in touch with their authentic source of power and feminine or/and masculine energy.  I can acknowledge the difficulties that they face, let them know that I agree that they suck, and then try to help them find a way to live in a positivity while in the midst of a system that doesn't want them to actualise themselves in all facets of life.  

I hope that you enjoy the SoulCollage® card that I made and placed at the top of this post.  I call it Judgment and would love to hear what YOU see in this card.  What do you think the woman in her undergarments has to say?  What do the women behind her have to say?  

In closing, I will leave with this song, which I think pretty well sums up what I wanted to say to the officer last night but wasn't able to.  

Blessings, 

Holly

Week 20

            It is already midterms and so I am looking ahead and thinking about how I will wrap up my time as an intern prison chaplain.  Since I will need to write an essay to conclude my coursework, I’ve been looking through the files I have collected and created in the past two years.   I am wondering what I could, or should, do with it all.  So far I have created/written:

        -A prison based ritual for each of the eight Sabbats.  

        -A prison based ritual for the moon phases.

        -Several prison based rituals for healing, blessings, and   

          personal growth.

        -Many ideas on topics for prison based Pagan groups.

        -Nine educational handouts that follow a structured 

         monthly curriculum (I want to expand this to twelve). 

        -At least a dozen other handouts about Pagan issues. 

        -Several essays about prison chaplaincy for class projects.

        -Dozens of resources that volunteers and inmates can 

          access to support their Pagan lives and work.

        -And this blog!

            I am wondering what I can do with all of this.  A few people have suggested that I put it online and offer it to the public for free, and others have said that it could be collected and edited into a book.  I am not really sure what is the best thing to do, but I do like the idea of helping other new volunteers.  I think many Pagan volunteers throughout the states are recreating the wheel each month since there is so little available to use as a resource. 

            I am very open to suggestions of what I might be able to do with all of these Pagan prison items filling up my hard drive.  Let me know if you’ve thought of something I haven’t, or are aware of challenges and opportunities that may alter my path! 

            I would also like to remind the public that there is a great need for Pagan themed books, CD’s, and magazines in most prisons.  I know that the one I work with has a small and very heavily used Pagan section.  Many inmates tell me that they have read and reread all of the Pagan books in the chapel library many times over.   Some of these books are decades old and quite dated, although I am happy to see that we have a lot of the “classic” Pagan books available to check out.  If you have any Pagan materials and are interested in donating them to myself send me a note and we can work it out!  I am happy to pay the shipping costs. 

Warm Winter Blessings,

Holly

Week 19

             Today I had nine people who asked to speak with me, one welfare phone call to make, and a group of volunteers from a Russian Orthodox church to escort into the prison.  It was a busy day!  I have a three hour time window to see people in the morning and another four hours in the afternoon.   It can get tricky to fit everyone in, and there is always time lost trying to find inmates and waiting for them to (maybe) show up. 

            One of the inmates wanted to see me to talk about the anniversary stresses that they had been trying to cope with.  For the first time,  the inmate opened up and talked about their crime.  It had been something we had danced around in our biweekly meetings.  I think it was good to get the crime out into the open so that the inmate could see that I wasn’t going to abandon or reject them as they feared.  Guilt and punishment by God is a continual theme for this inmate.  While remorse and responsibility are an important part of rehabilitation, self-flagellation is not a motivating skill, and I am trying to steer this inmate away from it. 

            I also was asked to speak with an inmate that I do not enjoy working with.  This inmate is in jail for a sexual crime, and I suspect that they make up things to talk to me about.  The Freudian part of my mind finds that in of itself to be interesting!  Why does this inmate find it necessary to make up or embellish stories in order to speak with me?  Do they not feel worthy of spending time in a chaplain’s presence?  Do they enjoy presenting a false face and manipulating others?  Is it an example of possible cognitive delays that have gone on diagnosed?  It could be all of that, or none of that, but since I can’t know for sure I will just keep offering the ministry of presence to the best of my abilities. 

            I also got to speak with an inmate who is on solitary confinement.  This was an interesting experience because I have spent very little time in this section of the prison.   While I was counseling this inmate who was in the midst of processing a tragic death in the family, other inmates began to scream and call out in distress.  When one would yell another would yell back.  Sometimes I could barely hear the person I was trying to talk to.  The pain in the voices was audible, and one person called out that they had been “back here” for four years.  Then someone shouted that the chaplain was back here, and everyone got quite.   I could hear a few apologies being said.

While I do believe that solitary confinement is necessary for some violent and predatory inmates, it has been fairly clearly established that it can cause an exacerbation of mental health problems and worsen behavioral acting out.  

            Solitary confinement (what the inmates I work with call “the hole”) is not used extensively in the prison I work with, but there are prisons in other states that only use this form of isolation liberally to deal with disciplinary issues.  Some prisons only have solitary confinement as an option, although sometimes two inmates will share a cell.  I suspect that it is favorable in some institutions because staffing is reduced when inmates are not interacting with each other.  

            This form of isolation is inhumane and illogical.  Humans are social creatures who like to live in herd like formations.  It is unnatural for most of us to live without human companionship in some form.  It is also does not make any logical sense that by locking people up, and having them completely alone for twenty three hours a day, that we would be helping them in any way be better prepared to live a prosocial life in the outer communities.  

            National Geographic made a documentary called Solitary Confinement that is available to view on Netflix.  It clearly demonstrates the devastating effects of solitary confinement and the way that it affects the mental health of people who have to endure it.  I highly recommend that anyone concerned with the welfare of incarcerated adults view this documentary. 

Week 18

Imbolc

            I am sitting near a window that overlooks my snow covered backyard.  It’s been snowing for the past several days and so it seems like I won’t be able to make it to the prison tomorrow as I had planned.  The plan was to have a special Imbolc ritual a week late, but I guess it can be two weeks late and still be lovely! 

            Imbolc is the second winter holidays that many Pagans celebrate.  It is a time to celebrate the much beloved Goddess Brigit, the cows and sheep that are giving birth and coming into milk, the mystery of returning son, and the continuation of the long winter days.  It feels appropriate right now as I try to make up meals from my increasingly small stock of supplies since I can’t make it into the stores. 

            It can also be a time to look forward to spring and think about the things that you wish to manifest in your life.  For Imbolc in the prison,  we are going to dedicate ourselves to some sort of pursuit for the next year.  Some of the inmates may want to dedicate themselves as a Pagan or a witch while others may want to dedicate themselves to working with a certain deity or a personal challenge. 

            To begin our ritual we will have a brief check in and then chant Earth My Body as we do every time we meet.  Then we will arrange ourselves around a small plastic cauldron that I have filled with red and yellow tissue paper to make it look like a fire.  We will sit on cushions on the floor and make a circle around ourselves with a small amount of salt.  We will call the corners and use moss, feathers, small cups of water, and apache tears (obsidian) to stand in for the elements. 

            We will then sink into a space of mediation before taking turns sharing our dedication with the group.  I wrote out a simple dedication for inmates who wanted to use it, but many are wonderful writers and will likely create their own person dedications.

I, (name), daughter of (name),

do dedicate myself to walk the path of (intentions) for one year and a day.

I dedicate my energies, my heart, my spirit,

and my mind to following the path of (intentions).

This is now my center.  If I stray, this is where I will come back.

In times of darkness, I will lean on (intentions) to support me.

In times of great joy I will give thanks to (intentions) for blessing me.

In times of stillness and great activity, I will carry (intentions) in my heart.

I will strive to be the best model of (intentions),

so that this blessing can be shared with the wider world.

Blessed Be.

            When everyone has time to share we will bless ourselves with water.  I hope to be able to bring in some floral water to use for the blessing.  If not, maybe a bit of unsweetened tea would do!

• ·      Anointing the forehead:  I bless my mind so that it may see clearly the path to my greatest good.
• 
  
• ·      Anointing the heart:  I bless my heart that it may help me find the love I need for others and myself as I dedicate myself to my path.
• 
  
• ·      Anointing the backs of the hands:  I bless my hands so that they may help me do the work that is needed as I journey on my path. 
• 
  
• ·      Anointing the stomach:  I bless my gut so that my inner wisdom can shine light onto my pathway when times are dark. 
• 
  
• ·      Anointing the feet:  I bless my feet so that may carry me as far as I need to travel as I walk along my path.
• 
  
• ·      Rubbing the water between the hands and over the whole body:  I dedicate my body, mind, and spirit to the pursuit of this noble path.  
• 
  
• ·      Blessed Be! 

            Next we will put on some music and will lead the women in a spiral dance around the room.  After that, we will have time for cakes and ale (usually cookies and juice) and some brief chatting before we return to our circles and release the elements. 

            I am excited to perform this ritual alongside the inmates, but I don’t want to risk my safety by traveling before the roads are clear and free of snow and ice!  Perhaps we will get an Imbolc miracle and the weather will warm up enough to allow us to celebrate tomorrow, but whenever it happens it should be lovely.